March 11th 2012

Good Afternoon my friends,
  I am nervous and excited ,......... March 13th I will be getting my staples out.
I am so happy Eric has taken this day off to be with me. It is truly bitter sweet.
Mostly bitter I must say.  
  March 13th is my birthday,  but it is also March 13th 2010 My sweet son was buried at the 
young age of 24.  One month away from his 25th birthday.  I cannot say it is getting easier
what I can say is ........ I am not having as many meltdowns as I use to.  
I do wish he was here to see how well I am doing and since my surgery I no longer
have the neck and back pain.  Due to the surgery I do become quite exhausted when we
have a day out or I am really busy around the house.  
Friday Eric is off and we ran alot of errands.  We were suppose to go to a birthday party for 
a dear friend.  I woke up Saturday Morning aobut 0915,   by 1015 I was ready for bed again. 
I went back to bed so I could be ready for her bday party at 1300 hrs  ( 1pm).
However,.......... I did not wake up until  1622    (4:22pm)    well I really felt bad.  I could not believe
I did not even wake up until then and sad to say it was too late.   I can only pray Eric called them 
long before I woke up to let them know.   
  This is the only trouble I am having re: my surgery is  I become quite exhausted, but considering the 
surgery and I do my best to be as independant as much as possible.  It really wears me out :D 
That is ok.......... it is better than not trying.  
   I have to laugh.  I would love to go to the mailbox, or get the paper, but our driveway has a deep short slope.  I can go down without a problem lol  as a matter fact almost too fast.  Getting up the hill
well that is another story.  I cannot get up the hill and the cars fly by our house as if they are racing 
DALE EARNHART JR........  at the DAYTONA SPEEDWAY.     
    The speed limit is only 20 and they more often are doing 50.   Too dangerous for this 
WHEELCHAIR MOMMA :D.    
  I am going to close this with I wrote several reviews on ..... YELP.COM...........    I have been writing reviews for awhile but since my amputation, I am finding there are alot of places we are not able to 
go to for lunch or dinner like we use to due to my wheelchair.  
   I am also going to go to ........  CHANGE.ORG ...........  and get a petition for places to actually be 
handicap accessible and not just be called it because they have a hold bar or a very small  handicap stall that a wheel chair cannot get into. 
I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe weekend,  :D  
have a better Week 
lots of hugs and prayers 
Candy

PHANTOM PAINS ARE HERE

Happy Weekend  :D  
   I cannot explain the strange,  needles going into my heel, cramps in my toes, but they are 
no longer there.  Often I imagine people are thinking,  
HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU FORGET YOU DON'T HAVE A FOOT  
  The truth is I do forget and when I feel pains in my foot that is no longer there,  I actually reach down
to rub my foot and lo and behold it isnt there  :D  The strangest feeling.  It is something I can never 
begin to explain for anyone to realize just how it really feels.  
   Before my surgery I would feel pins and needles being poked into my feet, it hurt so bad
I want to grab my foot and just to massage it and rub the feeling and the pain away.  
   When I was at my surgeons office, he saw my surgery and made me feel so good.  I told Dr Soliman
that how much I appreciated the fact he has given me a new lease on life. Since it was at my request
he did not have to do the amputation, but when he saw the EXrays, he saw the deformity and the 
detoriation,  He did it. For this I will be forever grateful.  
 To show my appreciation,  I am going to bake him and the staff,   a homemade APPLE CAKE :D
I like to bake nice things for my drs and their staff to show how much I appreciate what they have done for me.    
    I am going to close,  I am up really late,   I am in bed by 7 to 8 pm but tonight my baby girl is 
here and her little girl is here with us. We watched ZOOKEEPER  with Kevin James.
It was really good.  I enjoyed it.  
Sweet Dreams........ Have a wonderful weekend and will be soon :D 
xoxo   

Falling is Easy Getting up is Hard

HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY :D  !!!!!!!
  I hope all had a wonderful day today,  no bills in the mail ,  that seems to be a bright side for me :D
I will post photos of my leg that was taken about the 17th.  After my shower, and before we wrap it,
Today when I took my shower, I washed it with dial soap, peroxide, and I always use wound wash,
it comes in a can called  .........SALINE WOUND WASH......... I bought mine from walmart and keep it on hand. Great product.  When I was drying off and turned my wheelchair around to turn off the light in the bathroom,  I noticed quite a few blood drops,  I was bleeding.  There are two areas on my right leg, that are bleeding from the staples.  
  I am not sure why but when my nurse changed the bandages, we didnt have the medicated moist non stick gauze the dr wanted on there,  so she used a little bit of triple antibiotic and then placed the gauze across the wound.  When I took them off this morning to shower,  it stuck to me leg.  I am not worried, I am going to see my surgeon in the morning and of course he will look at it. I was told he would probably take out the staples but I am not sure now.  I also know he cannot leave them in for very long because the skin will grow around the staples then it will be harder and more of a problem to get them not counting a whole lot more painful....... not looking forward to that  :D lol  
   I also fell yesterday.  :D   it was not bad, it didnt hurt my surgery in any way I landed on my hiney.  I laughed so hard, but then all at once I was not able to get up.  I ....BUTT WALKED.....  
from the kitchen to the living room to the recliner.  I was able to pull my self up. Although I was not hurt, all at once, I felt like a Zombie, I had no energy, I felt totally drained, wiped out.  
Got up this morning and still felt completely drained.  When my physical therapist came today  
I told Brian what happened and he said it was completely normal to drain when something like this happens.  He then had to report this incident to my family DR.  
    These past two days have been crazy.  I am so happy I did not injure my leg or hurt my back when I fell.  Eric ...... Bless his heart is doing everything he can to help me and make things easier on my. 
I know I am so blessed.   
   It is late, I was in pain,  got up, had to get something to eat to take some pain meds.  
praying everyone has a good night and a better day :D 


we have to remember,  it is up to us to decide what kind of day we have.  We can allow the things that come our way to get us down or use it to learn and be more determined to get back up 
put on our big girl  / boy pants  :D and keep on going to the next step
sending prayers and lots of hugs 
Candy

HOME AT LAST :D

 HAPPY MONDAY NIGHT
2222HRS


It is hard for me to believe that, I have had my surgery, Monday February 6th 2012,
0900 on the dot :D  they were right on time.  When I woke up I was in my room,  
My sweetheart, Eric was there, with Vena and Tyler.  It was good to see them.  
   I have to laugh,  My toes to cramp and my it feels like needles going into my heel just 
like it did before the surgery.  I have tingling in a foot that is no longer there.  :D  I have 
met others who have phantom pain they do not find it humorous,  but I do.  I have to laugh
how in the world do you feel pain something that is no longer there?  I have not been able to
convince my brain, I no longer have a lower leg.  :D  I am thankful he was able to do what is known as  a  RBKA -----   RIGHT LEG-- BELOW THE KNEE AMPUTATION------------
     On the second day,  of my hospital stay,  I began to transfer to the bedside chair,  using my left leg
I pushed and with my arms I pulled my body up to the top of the bed because I always seem to slide down somehow.   The thing I found the hardest ......... I am on 20 mg of lasix  ( water pill )  :D
I am also on full liquid diet.   not clear liquid......
  breakfast consisted of.......
grits ( which i do not care for) 
apple juice
orange juice
ice cream
pudding


lunch :D 
pureed cream of chicken soup  ( tasted really good)
ice tea
hot tea
juice
pudding
ice cream


dinner  :
pureed cream of celery soup  ( it was really good )
ice tea
hot tea
juice
pudding 
ice cream :D 

this continued Monday through Wednesday  
yeahhhhhhhhhhh  finally a real food diet. Actually the other wasnt bad at all. The flavors were really good and it reminded me when i got my tonsils out  :D ice creams, puddings  etc.......   
the downside is .........with all of this liquid.......  I had a very hard time tyring to get to the bedside chair without wetting all over everything,  lasix and liquid diets do not mix  :D 
Every time I moved I wet to bed,  Oh believe me I still went to the bedside chair and had plenty 
there but wow........ it was hard.  lol and to me :D quite funny.   
   The second day,  the therapist came in, got me out of bed,  and with nerve damage in both arms
one leg working and minus one leg,  The got me up on a walker to walk down the hall,  Can you believe this???????   how does a person with one leg, never damage in both arms use a walker to walk down the hall?   I highly suggested the belt and they did use,  I felt much safer and I headed down the hall.  I was at the end of the hallway and about 10 rooms up through the doors was the nurses station. I didnt do too bad..... I didnt make it to the nurses station but close.  Now the hard part  
lol  I have to get back.  I made it and I was so happy to see my bed.   :D yeahhhhhhhhhhh......
   From that day on I continued to progress.  I walked a little farther down the hall than the day before,  :D  not much but a little.   I must say that my Nurses, CNA's,  ect........  took wonderful care of me.  There were alot of student nurses there,  that week.  they were also amazing and were quite fascinated by me.  lol  Cant imagine anyone being fascinated by me .......  I have always tried to keep a 
good attitude and no it is not always easy.  I have to admit,....... LAUGHTER is the best medicine.
    When you are smiling and joking,  it makes those around you feel better, more at ease with you and 
your day will be better and so will theirs.  
Because of my attitude,  the cna's,  didnt mind me calling them because I had accidents, or when I wanted to take a bird bath.  My first Cna  would not smile and the first thing I thought was........
hmmmmmmmm   I am going to make her my friend :D   I ignored her non smiles, stern ways,  I laughed, joked , always requested  never demanded,  I always thanked her.  These are things I always do ....... I did  not change or try to be somebody I wasnt,  It was not long and she smiled and was very kind to me.  All to often the Aids are not appreciated,  people demand from them most of the time more than they can give,  the pay is low and those who think they are better than the aids are like 
the Bullies at school.  You are not above them,  you need them.  Dont kid yourself. Try going to the hospital and do everything yourself,  the waitress,  you look down on........  if it were not for him or her, you would not have anyone to bring you a meal.........
   I am going to change the subject now and here are some photos of me when I was in the hospital
the first photo was taken about 2 hours after waking up from surgery.  the second one is of my amputated wrapped leg.  The third photo is my leg being held by AnnaMarie my nurse,  when she was changing my bandages,  one of the student nurses took this photo.  
  I am very tired tonight, praying you have a blessed Tuesday.  Hopefully my Therapist will be here in the morning. My nurse Linda came Sunday.......  she was with me for three hours working on papers, correcting things,  teaching me how to change my bandages,  teaching me to take care of my leg.  

   Night , Sweet Dreams and have a wonderful day :D  

Count Down One Day :D

  Hi   Everyone  :D
 WOW !!!!!   I have been so busy, I have not kept up with this.  The best way to start this is to 
say  that I am so excited, not scared, not nervous,  not anxious,  truly excited.  :D   
I know my pain will never go away or get better, but  with the amputation I know eventually the pain will go away and my life will be much better.   
    Friday January 27th,   I called my surgeons office to see if I could come in and  ask him some questions.  They are wonderful I was told to be there the the next day about 11am.  Good, now I can
get some answers.  
   Joanie got on the phone and told me she had a job for me to do, of course I said SURE  :D 
whatever she needed I would be happy to do it.  Wow, was in for a shock,  my insurance still had not approved my surgery and we were less than a week  away.  I felt the stress building and I am thinking  
I DO NOT NEED THIS AT ALL  :D
  I called,  I was informed it is scheduled for the  16th of February,  PANIC TIME...........
 called the Dr office,  Joanie had written 2/6,   my insurance company entered 2 /16,  shoot 
so I called them back, spoke with Marcus,  bless his heart he went above and beyond as far as I am concerned.  I advised him of what was going on, immediately he took over,  began to work on fixing this. Yes,  ..... he put me on hold several times, but if this was going to fix it .... HALLELUJAH,  I would wait as long as I needed.   Marcus got is all straightened out, transferred me over to the  Dept that recieves the Dr's fax's.  She read everything back to me and now finally I was cleared, all was green light to go ahead with the surgery.  I couldnt understand why I was not asked to come in and get the 
.................   EGK, CHEST EXRAY, &  BLOOD WORK   .......  Once I found out it was set for the 16th instead of the 6th, I knew why.  As soon as this was cleared I recieved a call and everything was set for me to come into  the hospital  February 2nd,  11am, I got my blood work done, the ekg, and my chest exray.   If you have any problems during surgeries,  ALWAYS let your Dr know and speak with the........ ANESTHESIOLOGIST.........  be sure to let them  know what is going on.  From my first surgery when I was only 4 years old.  I always woke up sick and vomiting with dry heaves, and I was always accused of eating or drinking.  They did not believe me. In  2000  they gave me a medication, that kept me from getting so ill.  I still have slight nausea but nothing compared to what it use to be. 
    My anesthesiologist assured me, he understood and would make sure I will be taken care of. 
The other thing I let him and my surgeon know is ...... I had to have  C-5 & C-6 replaced in my neck with  CADAVAR BONE & METAL PLATE. .....  now when I am asleep, or even awake  for what ever reason  C-4   falls down and lays on C-5.   this cuts my airway off and even water will sit in my throat.  
  After speaking with these two Dr.s I am absolutely ready,  no fears, I am not nervous, anxious, 
no doubt in my mind what I need to do and I am looking forward to this surgery. To a longer 
healthier more substantial life.   I am truly blessed.  God has his hand on me and given me wonderful friends and families.  I give God all the Glory..... :D 


  Thursday I February 2nd 2012  I went to my apptointment to meet with my surgeon, one last time.
I had questions that were simple but I didnt know the answer and the unknown, sometimes makes us nervous.  :D   First thing I told him ...... HI DR. SOLIMAN  :D  I haven't changed my mind , I just 
have some simple questions.  ........      


1.)   aprox how long will I be in the hospital ? .................  his answer :  2 to 3 days 
WOW  that was not the answer I expected but was quite pleased.  
2.)  Aprox how long will I be in rehab?  ............   his answer :D   3 to 4 weeks, they will not allow me to go home until they are comfortable with my walking and I am comfortable with my walking.  
3.)    How long before I am able to get my permanent leg ?   ........... his answer  8 to 12 weeks.  


   It was so comforting just to know those simple answers.  When I walked out of there I felt this huge weight lift off of my shoulders.  Its amazing how something so simple can make us feel so good.  
Now the next thing to do.   I recieve updated letters about twice a week from HANGAR PROSTHETICS,  this latest letter showed a nine year old boy who lost his leg, they told him he could have anything he wanted on his leg.......  now he proudly sports his favorite team on his left leg
 NEW YORK GIANTS LOGO  :D.   I thought ..how cool is that, if I have the same option,  I decided to honor my son who passed away suddenly March 8th 2010.  He worked with the Marion County Sheriffs Dept.  I have enclosed the photo I want on my new leg :D  This is one of my favorites. He is in a uniform for a job he loved, and yet shows his playful side. Shane loved life.  

  with this I am going to close, It is..... 0427......, I guess I need some sleep.  

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012

    IT is so hard to believe that 2011 is over and 2012 is now here.  When you look back what are your favorite moments?  your worst moments?   Did you fix an extra special meal or did you smoke out the kitchen :D    
  January starts a new year, a clean slate, last year is wiped away, a new year is beginning, I want 2012 to be different.  March 2010 My beautiful son passed away suddenly at the age of 24 one month away from his 25th birthday.  December of 2010 one of my best friends passed away suddenly, her heart failed her.  May of 2011 a high school friend died of cancer,  my best friend of 30 years found out she had cancer, she is one of many friends who are fighting this disease.  
   I am having surgery February 6th 2012, I am thankful for this. If I was not able to have this surgery, within 6 months I would not be able to walk at all.  
  As the time gets closer for my surgery.  I cannot help but be nervous, even though this is at my 
request.  I find myself getting a little snippy sometimes and that is not me.  I am an easy going happy person, the biggest percentage of the time.  
  I have found a place near my home that makes PROSTHETICS AND ORTHOTICS....
they are the company that made WINTER THE DOLPHINS TALE,   so she could swim and 
have normal motion for a dolphin.  She has been an inspiration to so many,  young and old alike.
   I have also began reading about NATIONAL CHALLENGED ATHLETE FOUNDATION.
An aquaitance of mine runs marathons for this foundation.  He us to run for many foundations until he met CODY MCASLAND, who at the time was six years old at the time and double amputee.  :D 
He won Tommys heart. He has children and this little energetic, smiling face would not let him walk away from this foundation  :D  
    When I am walking again, and doing well, I want to become involved with this foundation.  


http://www.challengedathletes.org/site/c.4nJHJQPqEiKUE/b.6466441/k.C44D/Florida.htm




  if you have not checked out this site, please do so. :D  it is an amazing.  
Life is what we make it.  I want a clean slate, a new start, a new journey,  I want Gods blessings upon my life,  I am so thankful he has saved me, kept me, protected me.  He has kept his angels around our home,  I cannot tell you how many times,  he has healed my body, my mind and my soul.  
    Praying you have a blessed 2012 and it continually gets better as time goes on.  
Sending lots of  prayers, hugs, and wishing all of you a wonderful safe NEW YEAR  :D

PREPARING for my Amputation

  Good Morning and Happy Weekend,  :D 
I have been really busy trying to get things in order before my surgery and also before 
my cousin comes from up north to help me, While I am recuperatig.  I am so thankful 
for her kindness.   :D  
    My Surgeons office called yesterday to let me know that it is now scheduled. 
My new beginning will happen ..........FEBRUARY 6th 2012.........
every time I have a surgery,  I have alot of emotions that run through my head  :D and 
when I am on the table that morning waiting to be taken to surgery  : 0  all i can think 
of is ........... OK I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND,  HELP ME GET DOWN AND I WILL 
JUST GO HOME.............  in my head I am saying this really loud.   LOL but as I said.......
it is only in my thoughts.  
  This time was different when I recieved the phone call.  Yes I had all the previous thoughts
but somehow this time they were so much more intense.  I was scared, happy, nervous, excited,  ready for the surgery, wanting to cancel the sugery.  I know I will go through with it,  this Amputation is at my request and only after my Drs.  saw my XRAYS,   then they completely agreed with me and all of my DR's make the same statement,  ......  ( I don't know how you have lasted as long as you have, and done as well as you are doing ) .  I was always very active, athletic, on the go,  until my body said
 ........ NO MORE........  it just could not take anymore.  
   Christmas is coming up soon,  the Holidays are here, soon 2012 will be here,  and all of us will 
have a clean slate to have the chance to make a new beginning and start over. Our mistakes, hurts, pains,  will always be a part of our lives,  but only we can make it better with having a proper attitude.  
   HAVE A Blessed Day 
Candy