Good Morning March 29th 2012 :D

   Good Morning  Thursday  :D
I am so excited to get my new leg.  I have a photo of my son in his sheriffs uniform laughing 
and showing his muscles.  I am going to ask them if they put that on the leg to honor my son.  
I am going to attach a small black ribbon to it,  to show FALLEN OFFICER...........
Shane my son is my hero and always will be.  He would be so proud of me :D
   My motto is .....LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE GRUMPY.........  even through all of my surgeries
the death of my son in 2010, my nephew's leg being burned from his high thigh to his ankle..he was 12 at the time,  recently my nephew who will be 18 in June, was in a bad car accident. We were not sure that day if he was going to make it.  He did Thank you Jesus :D   Five broken ribs and one of them 
puncutred his lung.  The Dr.'s told him if he smoked or drank, his lung would not have healed.  
 My son was a good kid, and my neices and nephews are good kids.  No they are not perfect and sometimes ornery but they dont go out and party, they dont do drugs.

 I tell them all the time how proud of them I am.  
    I am proud that I come from a close knit family.  I am thankful God has also blessed me with 
friends who have become my extended family.  They also have been here with me through everything I have been through.  Between My Fiancee' , family and friends. I know I am truly Blessed.
   God is wonderful and I have so much to be thankful for.  

Ready for my prosthetic

I am so excited.   March 13th Eric took me to my surgeon. It was time to get my staples out.  
I cannot lie to you.....  everyone said it would not hurt.  This did.  :D  I buried my head in Erics and chest and cried. Not really hard. It felt like he was pulling the hairs out of my leg one by one by one.
   Ladies we know plucking hairs does not feel good  :D.    
Tuesday March 27th 2012,  my surgeon came in to the room.  I always greet hin with a smile and 
and perky voice.  I said .
 HEY DR SOLIMAN DO I GET MY NEW LEG TODAY  :D  ( i knew it would not be that day ) 
He smiled really big and said ... YOU GOT IT  :D  .....  yeahhhhhh  I could have shouted from the 
mountain tops but Florida doesnt have any mountains  :D.  I have promised to make him an
apple cake.............  I am looking forward to walking, hiking, doing the things I did before with the exception of running and gynastics.  Due to left knee total replacement I can no longer do those things  :D  but the is nothing compared to not being able to walk and being in so much pain walking is an effort and that always effected my neck and back.   
   I know longer have that pain.   However what i do have is   Three falls on my hiney.  the last one hurt me. I have a chiropractors apptointment to get my bones back into place.   Since my surgery 
February  6th 2012 I have had not pain whatso ever in my back and neck.  That is such a relief.  
I have lived with pain for so long that this amputation and the phantom pains are the best thing I could ask for.  I will now have a great quality of life......  for this I am blessed and thankful.  
  God is my rock and my salvation.  Eric is My rock here on earth and waits on me, pushes me around, makes sure I am comfortable.  I am truly blessed and I know that God has great things in store for me.  xoxox

PHANTOM PAINS ARE HERE

Happy Weekend  :D  
   I cannot explain the strange,  needles going into my heel, cramps in my toes, but they are 
no longer there.  Often I imagine people are thinking,  
HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU FORGET YOU DON'T HAVE A FOOT  
  The truth is I do forget and when I feel pains in my foot that is no longer there,  I actually reach down
to rub my foot and lo and behold it isnt there  :D  The strangest feeling.  It is something I can never 
begin to explain for anyone to realize just how it really feels.  
   Before my surgery I would feel pins and needles being poked into my feet, it hurt so bad
I want to grab my foot and just to massage it and rub the feeling and the pain away.  
   When I was at my surgeons office, he saw my surgery and made me feel so good.  I told Dr Soliman
that how much I appreciated the fact he has given me a new lease on life. Since it was at my request
he did not have to do the amputation, but when he saw the EXrays, he saw the deformity and the 
detoriation,  He did it. For this I will be forever grateful.  
 To show my appreciation,  I am going to bake him and the staff,   a homemade APPLE CAKE :D
I like to bake nice things for my drs and their staff to show how much I appreciate what they have done for me.    
    I am going to close,  I am up really late,   I am in bed by 7 to 8 pm but tonight my baby girl is 
here and her little girl is here with us. We watched ZOOKEEPER  with Kevin James.
It was really good.  I enjoyed it.  
Sweet Dreams........ Have a wonderful weekend and will be soon :D 
xoxo   

Falling is Easy Getting up is Hard

HAPPY PRESIDENTS DAY :D  !!!!!!!
  I hope all had a wonderful day today,  no bills in the mail ,  that seems to be a bright side for me :D
I will post photos of my leg that was taken about the 17th.  After my shower, and before we wrap it,
Today when I took my shower, I washed it with dial soap, peroxide, and I always use wound wash,
it comes in a can called  .........SALINE WOUND WASH......... I bought mine from walmart and keep it on hand. Great product.  When I was drying off and turned my wheelchair around to turn off the light in the bathroom,  I noticed quite a few blood drops,  I was bleeding.  There are two areas on my right leg, that are bleeding from the staples.  
  I am not sure why but when my nurse changed the bandages, we didnt have the medicated moist non stick gauze the dr wanted on there,  so she used a little bit of triple antibiotic and then placed the gauze across the wound.  When I took them off this morning to shower,  it stuck to me leg.  I am not worried, I am going to see my surgeon in the morning and of course he will look at it. I was told he would probably take out the staples but I am not sure now.  I also know he cannot leave them in for very long because the skin will grow around the staples then it will be harder and more of a problem to get them not counting a whole lot more painful....... not looking forward to that  :D lol  
   I also fell yesterday.  :D   it was not bad, it didnt hurt my surgery in any way I landed on my hiney.  I laughed so hard, but then all at once I was not able to get up.  I ....BUTT WALKED.....  
from the kitchen to the living room to the recliner.  I was able to pull my self up. Although I was not hurt, all at once, I felt like a Zombie, I had no energy, I felt totally drained, wiped out.  
Got up this morning and still felt completely drained.  When my physical therapist came today  
I told Brian what happened and he said it was completely normal to drain when something like this happens.  He then had to report this incident to my family DR.  
    These past two days have been crazy.  I am so happy I did not injure my leg or hurt my back when I fell.  Eric ...... Bless his heart is doing everything he can to help me and make things easier on my. 
I know I am so blessed.   
   It is late, I was in pain,  got up, had to get something to eat to take some pain meds.  
praying everyone has a good night and a better day :D 


we have to remember,  it is up to us to decide what kind of day we have.  We can allow the things that come our way to get us down or use it to learn and be more determined to get back up 
put on our big girl  / boy pants  :D and keep on going to the next step
sending prayers and lots of hugs 
Candy

HOME AT LAST :D

 HAPPY MONDAY NIGHT
2222HRS


It is hard for me to believe that, I have had my surgery, Monday February 6th 2012,
0900 on the dot :D  they were right on time.  When I woke up I was in my room,  
My sweetheart, Eric was there, with Vena and Tyler.  It was good to see them.  
   I have to laugh,  My toes to cramp and my it feels like needles going into my heel just 
like it did before the surgery.  I have tingling in a foot that is no longer there.  :D  I have 
met others who have phantom pain they do not find it humorous,  but I do.  I have to laugh
how in the world do you feel pain something that is no longer there?  I have not been able to
convince my brain, I no longer have a lower leg.  :D  I am thankful he was able to do what is known as  a  RBKA -----   RIGHT LEG-- BELOW THE KNEE AMPUTATION------------
     On the second day,  of my hospital stay,  I began to transfer to the bedside chair,  using my left leg
I pushed and with my arms I pulled my body up to the top of the bed because I always seem to slide down somehow.   The thing I found the hardest ......... I am on 20 mg of lasix  ( water pill )  :D
I am also on full liquid diet.   not clear liquid......
  breakfast consisted of.......
grits ( which i do not care for) 
apple juice
orange juice
ice cream
pudding


lunch :D 
pureed cream of chicken soup  ( tasted really good)
ice tea
hot tea
juice
pudding
ice cream


dinner  :
pureed cream of celery soup  ( it was really good )
ice tea
hot tea
juice
pudding 
ice cream :D 

this continued Monday through Wednesday  
yeahhhhhhhhhhh  finally a real food diet. Actually the other wasnt bad at all. The flavors were really good and it reminded me when i got my tonsils out  :D ice creams, puddings  etc.......   
the downside is .........with all of this liquid.......  I had a very hard time tyring to get to the bedside chair without wetting all over everything,  lasix and liquid diets do not mix  :D 
Every time I moved I wet to bed,  Oh believe me I still went to the bedside chair and had plenty 
there but wow........ it was hard.  lol and to me :D quite funny.   
   The second day,  the therapist came in, got me out of bed,  and with nerve damage in both arms
one leg working and minus one leg,  The got me up on a walker to walk down the hall,  Can you believe this???????   how does a person with one leg, never damage in both arms use a walker to walk down the hall?   I highly suggested the belt and they did use,  I felt much safer and I headed down the hall.  I was at the end of the hallway and about 10 rooms up through the doors was the nurses station. I didnt do too bad..... I didnt make it to the nurses station but close.  Now the hard part  
lol  I have to get back.  I made it and I was so happy to see my bed.   :D yeahhhhhhhhhhh......
   From that day on I continued to progress.  I walked a little farther down the hall than the day before,  :D  not much but a little.   I must say that my Nurses, CNA's,  ect........  took wonderful care of me.  There were alot of student nurses there,  that week.  they were also amazing and were quite fascinated by me.  lol  Cant imagine anyone being fascinated by me .......  I have always tried to keep a 
good attitude and no it is not always easy.  I have to admit,....... LAUGHTER is the best medicine.
    When you are smiling and joking,  it makes those around you feel better, more at ease with you and 
your day will be better and so will theirs.  
Because of my attitude,  the cna's,  didnt mind me calling them because I had accidents, or when I wanted to take a bird bath.  My first Cna  would not smile and the first thing I thought was........
hmmmmmmmm   I am going to make her my friend :D   I ignored her non smiles, stern ways,  I laughed, joked , always requested  never demanded,  I always thanked her.  These are things I always do ....... I did  not change or try to be somebody I wasnt,  It was not long and she smiled and was very kind to me.  All to often the Aids are not appreciated,  people demand from them most of the time more than they can give,  the pay is low and those who think they are better than the aids are like 
the Bullies at school.  You are not above them,  you need them.  Dont kid yourself. Try going to the hospital and do everything yourself,  the waitress,  you look down on........  if it were not for him or her, you would not have anyone to bring you a meal.........
   I am going to change the subject now and here are some photos of me when I was in the hospital
the first photo was taken about 2 hours after waking up from surgery.  the second one is of my amputated wrapped leg.  The third photo is my leg being held by AnnaMarie my nurse,  when she was changing my bandages,  one of the student nurses took this photo.  
  I am very tired tonight, praying you have a blessed Tuesday.  Hopefully my Therapist will be here in the morning. My nurse Linda came Sunday.......  she was with me for three hours working on papers, correcting things,  teaching me how to change my bandages,  teaching me to take care of my leg.  

   Night , Sweet Dreams and have a wonderful day :D  

Count Down One Day :D

  Hi   Everyone  :D
 WOW !!!!!   I have been so busy, I have not kept up with this.  The best way to start this is to 
say  that I am so excited, not scared, not nervous,  not anxious,  truly excited.  :D   
I know my pain will never go away or get better, but  with the amputation I know eventually the pain will go away and my life will be much better.   
    Friday January 27th,   I called my surgeons office to see if I could come in and  ask him some questions.  They are wonderful I was told to be there the the next day about 11am.  Good, now I can
get some answers.  
   Joanie got on the phone and told me she had a job for me to do, of course I said SURE  :D 
whatever she needed I would be happy to do it.  Wow, was in for a shock,  my insurance still had not approved my surgery and we were less than a week  away.  I felt the stress building and I am thinking  
I DO NOT NEED THIS AT ALL  :D
  I called,  I was informed it is scheduled for the  16th of February,  PANIC TIME...........
 called the Dr office,  Joanie had written 2/6,   my insurance company entered 2 /16,  shoot 
so I called them back, spoke with Marcus,  bless his heart he went above and beyond as far as I am concerned.  I advised him of what was going on, immediately he took over,  began to work on fixing this. Yes,  ..... he put me on hold several times, but if this was going to fix it .... HALLELUJAH,  I would wait as long as I needed.   Marcus got is all straightened out, transferred me over to the  Dept that recieves the Dr's fax's.  She read everything back to me and now finally I was cleared, all was green light to go ahead with the surgery.  I couldnt understand why I was not asked to come in and get the 
.................   EGK, CHEST EXRAY, &  BLOOD WORK   .......  Once I found out it was set for the 16th instead of the 6th, I knew why.  As soon as this was cleared I recieved a call and everything was set for me to come into  the hospital  February 2nd,  11am, I got my blood work done, the ekg, and my chest exray.   If you have any problems during surgeries,  ALWAYS let your Dr know and speak with the........ ANESTHESIOLOGIST.........  be sure to let them  know what is going on.  From my first surgery when I was only 4 years old.  I always woke up sick and vomiting with dry heaves, and I was always accused of eating or drinking.  They did not believe me. In  2000  they gave me a medication, that kept me from getting so ill.  I still have slight nausea but nothing compared to what it use to be. 
    My anesthesiologist assured me, he understood and would make sure I will be taken care of. 
The other thing I let him and my surgeon know is ...... I had to have  C-5 & C-6 replaced in my neck with  CADAVAR BONE & METAL PLATE. .....  now when I am asleep, or even awake  for what ever reason  C-4   falls down and lays on C-5.   this cuts my airway off and even water will sit in my throat.  
  After speaking with these two Dr.s I am absolutely ready,  no fears, I am not nervous, anxious, 
no doubt in my mind what I need to do and I am looking forward to this surgery. To a longer 
healthier more substantial life.   I am truly blessed.  God has his hand on me and given me wonderful friends and families.  I give God all the Glory..... :D 


  Thursday I February 2nd 2012  I went to my apptointment to meet with my surgeon, one last time.
I had questions that were simple but I didnt know the answer and the unknown, sometimes makes us nervous.  :D   First thing I told him ...... HI DR. SOLIMAN  :D  I haven't changed my mind , I just 
have some simple questions.  ........      


1.)   aprox how long will I be in the hospital ? .................  his answer :  2 to 3 days 
WOW  that was not the answer I expected but was quite pleased.  
2.)  Aprox how long will I be in rehab?  ............   his answer :D   3 to 4 weeks, they will not allow me to go home until they are comfortable with my walking and I am comfortable with my walking.  
3.)    How long before I am able to get my permanent leg ?   ........... his answer  8 to 12 weeks.  


   It was so comforting just to know those simple answers.  When I walked out of there I felt this huge weight lift off of my shoulders.  Its amazing how something so simple can make us feel so good.  
Now the next thing to do.   I recieve updated letters about twice a week from HANGAR PROSTHETICS,  this latest letter showed a nine year old boy who lost his leg, they told him he could have anything he wanted on his leg.......  now he proudly sports his favorite team on his left leg
 NEW YORK GIANTS LOGO  :D.   I thought ..how cool is that, if I have the same option,  I decided to honor my son who passed away suddenly March 8th 2010.  He worked with the Marion County Sheriffs Dept.  I have enclosed the photo I want on my new leg :D  This is one of my favorites. He is in a uniform for a job he loved, and yet shows his playful side. Shane loved life.  

  with this I am going to close, It is..... 0427......, I guess I need some sleep.  

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012

    IT is so hard to believe that 2011 is over and 2012 is now here.  When you look back what are your favorite moments?  your worst moments?   Did you fix an extra special meal or did you smoke out the kitchen :D    
  January starts a new year, a clean slate, last year is wiped away, a new year is beginning, I want 2012 to be different.  March 2010 My beautiful son passed away suddenly at the age of 24 one month away from his 25th birthday.  December of 2010 one of my best friends passed away suddenly, her heart failed her.  May of 2011 a high school friend died of cancer,  my best friend of 30 years found out she had cancer, she is one of many friends who are fighting this disease.  
   I am having surgery February 6th 2012, I am thankful for this. If I was not able to have this surgery, within 6 months I would not be able to walk at all.  
  As the time gets closer for my surgery.  I cannot help but be nervous, even though this is at my 
request.  I find myself getting a little snippy sometimes and that is not me.  I am an easy going happy person, the biggest percentage of the time.  
  I have found a place near my home that makes PROSTHETICS AND ORTHOTICS....
they are the company that made WINTER THE DOLPHINS TALE,   so she could swim and 
have normal motion for a dolphin.  She has been an inspiration to so many,  young and old alike.
   I have also began reading about NATIONAL CHALLENGED ATHLETE FOUNDATION.
An aquaitance of mine runs marathons for this foundation.  He us to run for many foundations until he met CODY MCASLAND, who at the time was six years old at the time and double amputee.  :D 
He won Tommys heart. He has children and this little energetic, smiling face would not let him walk away from this foundation  :D  
    When I am walking again, and doing well, I want to become involved with this foundation.  


http://www.challengedathletes.org/site/c.4nJHJQPqEiKUE/b.6466441/k.C44D/Florida.htm




  if you have not checked out this site, please do so. :D  it is an amazing.  
Life is what we make it.  I want a clean slate, a new start, a new journey,  I want Gods blessings upon my life,  I am so thankful he has saved me, kept me, protected me.  He has kept his angels around our home,  I cannot tell you how many times,  he has healed my body, my mind and my soul.  
    Praying you have a blessed 2012 and it continually gets better as time goes on.  
Sending lots of  prayers, hugs, and wishing all of you a wonderful safe NEW YEAR  :D

PREPARING for my Amputation

  Good Morning and Happy Weekend,  :D 
I have been really busy trying to get things in order before my surgery and also before 
my cousin comes from up north to help me, While I am recuperatig.  I am so thankful 
for her kindness.   :D  
    My Surgeons office called yesterday to let me know that it is now scheduled. 
My new beginning will happen ..........FEBRUARY 6th 2012.........
every time I have a surgery,  I have alot of emotions that run through my head  :D and 
when I am on the table that morning waiting to be taken to surgery  : 0  all i can think 
of is ........... OK I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND,  HELP ME GET DOWN AND I WILL 
JUST GO HOME.............  in my head I am saying this really loud.   LOL but as I said.......
it is only in my thoughts.  
  This time was different when I recieved the phone call.  Yes I had all the previous thoughts
but somehow this time they were so much more intense.  I was scared, happy, nervous, excited,  ready for the surgery, wanting to cancel the sugery.  I know I will go through with it,  this Amputation is at my request and only after my Drs.  saw my XRAYS,   then they completely agreed with me and all of my DR's make the same statement,  ......  ( I don't know how you have lasted as long as you have, and done as well as you are doing ) .  I was always very active, athletic, on the go,  until my body said
 ........ NO MORE........  it just could not take anymore.  
   Christmas is coming up soon,  the Holidays are here, soon 2012 will be here,  and all of us will 
have a clean slate to have the chance to make a new beginning and start over. Our mistakes, hurts, pains,  will always be a part of our lives,  but only we can make it better with having a proper attitude.  
   HAVE A Blessed Day 
Candy

November 9th 2011

    Today I saw my surgeon,  When he walked in the first thing he asked was,.........
 " Well have you decided what you would like to do?  "    I smiled,  I knew he was
making sure that this is what I truly wanted.  I very adamently said  with a smile
"  Dr.  Soliman,  I definetly want this and more than that I need this , it is getting much
worse adn much harder to to walk.  "  
   That was the start of this Journey.  he was going to set it up for two week later.  I know my
eyes widened as I said ........  NO ,  I do not want this during the Holidays.  My cousin
Carol is coming to stay with me the end of January.  Sometimes not living close to family is hard
not only missing them but this surgery will be my right leg :D  that means NO DRIVING ......
at least not for awhile.   If you have not read my story  ........ GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH IT......
please take time to read it.   It is God who will get me through this.  He is my strength,  my rock,
he has blessed me with  wonderful family and friends,  and my cousin Carol is definetly
a God send if I need her for one hour or one year,  she is willing to stay with Eric and I to help us.
   One of the nice things about Carol coming down. When Eric is off or when he takes his week off,
her cousin ,  my former sister in law,  also named Candy  has an extra room and Carol is able to stay with her and her family which will ger her away from our house and she can have a nice break.
      I am so thankful and blessed,  to have so many good people in my life.
Our neighbors Jeff and Laura are wonderful.  They called me to let me know that they will do what they can to get off if I need help with going somewhere.  
     Yes  this Journey is just the beginning,  it will be long, it will not be easy.  I have always believed
the attitude in which we do things .......is a major factor in our healing process ,  because if we go into
things with bad attitude,  we do not have peace of mind.  It doesnt come easy and some people are
not willing to work on their attitude because it is not easy and it is uncomfortable to them.
    TAKE THE PATH LESS TRAVELED AND REAP THE REWARDS OF  PEACE OF MIND
Have a wonderful day and thank you for visiting my site and reading about my life.
Sincerly  Candy

SAW MY SURGEON TODAY NOV 9TH 2011

   Hello and Good Morning,
 Eric and I went to see my surgeon Wednesday November 9th 2011.   He asked me if I decided
if I wanted above the knee or below the knee.  I told him I would like below the knee, but he 
knew more about it than I  do and what ever he thought would be best.  
   We decided  below the knee and if there were difficulties, with the healing due to blood flow
He would have to go above the knee.  I did find out that above the knee,  it takes about 
eight months to one year to learn to walk.  I guess it is more difficult  because of the joint not 
being there.  
    I told Eric I felt so safe with him.  He asked me why and I told him, going through everything
I have been through,  he has also went through it with me and now this.  It makes me feel safe
to know someone who loves me will be there while I am having the surgery,  while I am healing,  
and also after it is all over and I am walking.   :D  
   Of course with this being my right foot that means that,  I will not be able to drive for awhile.  
This bothers me more than the amputation.  I realize that there is a reason for everything,
and everytime I have ever been through anything.........  It has made me stronger.  I do not like
what I have been through,  like i posted before.......GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH............
   Praying whoever reads this has a Blessed day and safe one
hugs
Candy

Journey To Amputation

 October 17th 2011  Monday


   Hi My Name is Candy,
 I was born in Ohio, to wonderful parents. My dad worked for General Motors and my mother was a stay at home parent who went to work during the holidays to help with buying groceries. Every year, GM would go on strike from  November thru December into January. .  
     I am blessed to have wonderful parents, when I was born, my right foot was deformed,  5 little toes, bones that protruded out on each side of my ankle, which of course made it hard to wear the shoes they made at that time.  They were like the stride rites I purchased for my son and they may have well been stride rites. I do not know.  I was blessed to be able to do just about anything I wanted to do re: sports, However I was lousy at basketball and I could never master the art of making an accurate basket.  I loved tap dance and throroghly blamed my teacher when I was not able to participate becaue I could not do ......HEEL TO, HEEL TOE,  my heel would not touch ground.  I cried, I was so angry with this beautiful teacher who was kind to me, yet would not allow me to participate, I was 6 years old and could not understand.   my mother tried to explain, I cried my heart out.  I started gymnastics and this was something that I loved and it allowed me to do many different areas. With the exception of the .....DREADED BALANCE BEAM.........  ohhhh how I wanted to be able to master it. I tried over and over.  The uneven Parellel bars were my friend and I did very well on them.  The Teacher wanted me to do a program, alas  I was now too shy and could not imagine doing that. 
Maybe it was due to my heartbreak from tap dancing, maybe not. It didnt matter, I just could not do that.  The funny thing is....... I was not worried about making a mistake, I was the only in the class that would do a round off flip from the top bar to land on my feet properly. I was blessed to be able to do just about anything I wanted to do while growing up. I was able to do cheerleading stunts until I was 45 years of age, then my body said ...... NO MORE ..... gymnastics, the uneven prallel bars were my favorite. ,  I ran track, not very well I might add as my right foot wouldn't hold up under the pressure.  However, I was able to enjoy walking anywhere I wanted to go.  It seemed to hold up if I wasnt running and pounding it to the ground.  
     My first surgery was at two years old.  While they were in there,  the surgeon cut off two inches of  bone in order to straighten out my foot.  This left my leg two inches shorter than the left leg.  
I wore a cast for about one year.  Amazinly enough,  I learned to walk a second time. 
   At first it wasnt too bad, then as I got older, the ankle as I found out didnt have a joint in it.  
I grew taller and :D not much I am still only five foot two,  as I grew, I walked more on the front
of the foot.  The pad is calloused and has been well used over the years,  my heel to this day is soft, it has never really touched the ground.   I wore stilettos from the time I was in high school, until my total left knee replacement in August 2007.  Suprisingly enough,  they were the best shoes since it lifted my right foot to what would be a  natural postion for it.  I use a pumice stone on my feet, soak them, dry them off , to try to keep my feet looking decent, I massage coconut butter on them. My left foot, does well, that poor right foot never looks like it has seen a pumice stone or lotion.  
   Last year my right leg below the knee was going to be amputated.  My only child suddenly passed away and left this world to be with our Lord.  Mentally,  there was no way I could go through any type of surgery.  He had planned on staying with me for a week or so after my surgery.  Now he is gone.
    After I have the DOPPLER ,  Tuesday the 18th of October,  I will have an appointment to go back in to speak my surgeon and we will begin to make arrangements.  I do not want to have the surgery,
during the holidays.  In January 2012 after the twelth I would like to have it.  My foot is not life threatening, it is very debilitating.  The older I get, the harder it is to walk.  My toes are curling under and thank goodness I have a wondeful Podiatrist.  He fixed a toe guard to keep my curled toes from being walked on.  I am so thankful for my Dr.'s.  It is a shame not everyone is able to have Dr's as good as mine.  
      When I was eleven years old,  the surgeon told my parents, that they could stop the growth in my left leg so my right leg could catch up.  The surgeon went in,  cut my ligaments, cartlidges,  placed three large metal staples on each side of my knee on my growth bone.  It did prevent my left leg from growing, what they didnt anticipate is, instead of being five foot five,  It turned out I am only five foot two.  Not what they had in mind.  Here I am at 11 years old learning to walk again for the third time. 
   I always joked with everyone that since I have learned to walk three times you would think I would really be good at it.   :D.   When I had my surgery August of 2007,  Once again I find myself learning to walk for the fourth time.  With this amputation, I will start a new journey for the fifth time in my life.  Not bad for being 54, How many my age can say that at 55 they have learned to walk for the fifth time.  :D   Life is beautiful.  God has provided so much beauty around us, A person cannot help enjoying life.  
   Today is the first day of the rest of my LIFE.  This is a really good motto,  my favorite is :
LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE GRUMPY.................
I follow this motto every day when I wake up.  Going through the grief with my son. It has not been as easy it use to be.  Through God, family and friends,  I have been able to at least make it through this ordeal.  Something I never ever thought I would have to go through.  
      Tomorrow is my doppler, time to reflect, think, pray.  

Have a blessed day and always be safe 
       

GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH

GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH
by Candy Little Nestor on Tuesday, September 20, 2011 at 2:39pm
God always has a reason for everything. We don't always understand it and sometimes never do.
God has healed my body , my bones, saved my life and kept his hands upon me all of my life.
At birth my right foot was deformed, with 5 small toes. i learned to walk when i was 8 months old.
:D it never stopped me from ever trying and pushing and doing, :D sometimes I just could not do it as long as others as my right ankle would begin to give out. At the age of 1 they did surgery on my right ankle to straighten out my foot which was turned inward, and i had small bones protruding from the ankle.
I had to wear the cast close to 8 months and then learn to walk again on a foot that was no longer turned in and the bone was healing. I did it. The first Dr....( his name escapes my memory at the moment ) wanted to cut my right leg off.
He told my parents that i would never be able to walk, I would be in a wheel chair all of my life. Guess what ..... I WASN'T.......... :D I walked, I ran, I played, all because God gave me strength.
I was able to take gymnastic, do cheerleading stunts, the uneven parallel bars, i played sports, vollyball, tennis, ( i was really lousy at basketball ) we lived in a nice suburb and had alot of kids our age, we got together and played softball, football, had snowball fights, we would ice skate from sun up till sun down when there wasnt any school, build bond fires... built snowmen. There really wasnt much i was not able to do. The second surgery came in 1967, they wanted my right leg to catch up to my left leg as the surgery has caused my right leg to now be two inches shorter. 
The Drs, ( statsney in mansfield ohio ) went in my left knee placed three large staples on each side , cut the ligaments and cartlidges so this leg would no longer grow or at least slow down enough the right leg could catch up. 
Of course it never did. At 14 i was in class the bell rang I stood up to leave and the pain was so bad, sat down and didnt move, for what seemed like forever. When the pain passed I went on my way and to this day I never said anything. That turned out to be the first of many times. 
Several of us girls had an allstar cheerleading squad, we practiced and i knew every single step. 
Unfortunately, after being out there for a few cheers, The pain hit me again. HERE i was in the middle of the Game, in front of the school, parents everyone and i could not move due to the pain. 
Needless to say, I burst into tears. alot of it was the pain but the deeper part of being embarrassed was the worst feeling. 
From that day, I kept moving and doing and never gave up. At the age of 45, I was still able to do all of the cheerleading stunts, with my neices . Alas it gave out. From that day forth it became worse.
Finally I am to 2001 and it is now time for Serious consideration and deep thinking. I needed an amputation. The toes were beginning to curl under, the ankle was getting weaker and even at 105 pounds, the pain was excruciating. I thought about this for a long time, when I had to go on disablitliy in 2005, it became even more of a reality. October of 2006 I blew all the ligaments and cartlidges in my left leg, including the Mniscus ligament. August of 2007 , Dr Gomez did a total knee replacement.
January 2009, I began to discuss this with my Drs. each one said no and could not imagine why, I wanted an amputation, until they saw the exrays. There is no surgery available to correct it. I have surgery to relieve my pain and temporary fix. I told them I do not want to be 80 yrs old going through more surgeries since they could not guarentee me that I wouldnt have to go through more than one. They told me I may need one every year, or every five years. I said ....... NO Thank You........ they agree with me. 
After my first visit with Dr soliman,( surgeon who will do the amputation ) in April of 2010, Eric and I were going down County Line Road when i saw this billboard, ( the first photo ) it read ....... THEY TOOK HER LEG BUT THEY COULD NOT TAKE HER SPIRIT............ it was to me a sign from God. I found out who she is, Her name is Amy Mullins, she was born double amputee . She is a famous model, she runs, there is not much she cannot do. 
I began to do some research re: PROSTHETIC AND SWIMMING. PLEASE watch the video I posted below .
Three high school students ....... JOHN THURMAN, RHETT RUMORY, AND LUCAS CAVIN. Actually devoloped a PROTHESIS that can be used to swim. they enlisted their friend GRANT WILLIAMS 
a double amputee. the first prototype didnt work so they enlisted JERRY WILLIAMS AN ENGINEER..
to help them with the design. 

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/generation-genius-prosthetic-swimming-leg.html 

these students were judged by over 1000 judges from all over the world....... 
These young men started out with PVC PIPES............ 

I cannot tell you how excited I was to find this in my research re: being able to swim. Swimming is easy on the body and gives a tremondous workout. With the shin bone detoriating, and the toes curling more and more, my Drs are including my Podiatrist Dr Jude Pierre. He is the one who has made walking more comfortable he made the white pad you see in the photo wrapped around my toes to keep me from walking on them. It is quite painful. :D 
I have not given up. God may still choose to heal me even on the operating table and then he may not. What ever he does will be fine with me. For you see God allows us to go through things even if it is painful and heartbreaking, and for me HE ALWAYS SENDS SOMEONE my way that is going through the same things I have already been through. 

I AM NOT SPECIAL
I AM NOT STRONG
I AM NOT PERFECT
I WILL NEVER BE A RUNNER
I WILL NEVER BE A MODEL 
What I AM and WHAT I WILL ALWAYS BE is .......... someone who knows GOD IS NEVER GOING TO LET ME DOWN.......... 
He is always there. I have been asked by God to help those he sends to me. 


HE IS THE POTTER ,............. I AM THE CLAY........... MOLD ME AND MAKE ME........ HAVE THINE OWN WAY.....

these students were judged by over 1000 judges from all over the world....... 

UPDATE: Eric and I saw, the surgeon Tuesday the 11th, we discussed my amputation. I am so excited, Tuesday the 18th, I will be going to see him for my doppler, the Dr wants to check and make sure that I have really good blood flow in my right leg. If all is fine, They had approval last year, my son passed away, they have to get approval again. :D I am so excited. this will help me with my pain, it will also help keep my back more lined up, and so many other reasons :D


   GOD WILL SEE ME THRU THIS :D