Journey To Amputation

 October 17th 2011  Monday


   Hi My Name is Candy,
 I was born in Ohio, to wonderful parents. My dad worked for General Motors and my mother was a stay at home parent who went to work during the holidays to help with buying groceries. Every year, GM would go on strike from  November thru December into January. .  
     I am blessed to have wonderful parents, when I was born, my right foot was deformed,  5 little toes, bones that protruded out on each side of my ankle, which of course made it hard to wear the shoes they made at that time.  They were like the stride rites I purchased for my son and they may have well been stride rites. I do not know.  I was blessed to be able to do just about anything I wanted to do re: sports, However I was lousy at basketball and I could never master the art of making an accurate basket.  I loved tap dance and throroghly blamed my teacher when I was not able to participate becaue I could not do ......HEEL TO, HEEL TOE,  my heel would not touch ground.  I cried, I was so angry with this beautiful teacher who was kind to me, yet would not allow me to participate, I was 6 years old and could not understand.   my mother tried to explain, I cried my heart out.  I started gymnastics and this was something that I loved and it allowed me to do many different areas. With the exception of the .....DREADED BALANCE BEAM.........  ohhhh how I wanted to be able to master it. I tried over and over.  The uneven Parellel bars were my friend and I did very well on them.  The Teacher wanted me to do a program, alas  I was now too shy and could not imagine doing that. 
Maybe it was due to my heartbreak from tap dancing, maybe not. It didnt matter, I just could not do that.  The funny thing is....... I was not worried about making a mistake, I was the only in the class that would do a round off flip from the top bar to land on my feet properly. I was blessed to be able to do just about anything I wanted to do while growing up. I was able to do cheerleading stunts until I was 45 years of age, then my body said ...... NO MORE ..... gymnastics, the uneven prallel bars were my favorite. ,  I ran track, not very well I might add as my right foot wouldn't hold up under the pressure.  However, I was able to enjoy walking anywhere I wanted to go.  It seemed to hold up if I wasnt running and pounding it to the ground.  
     My first surgery was at two years old.  While they were in there,  the surgeon cut off two inches of  bone in order to straighten out my foot.  This left my leg two inches shorter than the left leg.  
I wore a cast for about one year.  Amazinly enough,  I learned to walk a second time. 
   At first it wasnt too bad, then as I got older, the ankle as I found out didnt have a joint in it.  
I grew taller and :D not much I am still only five foot two,  as I grew, I walked more on the front
of the foot.  The pad is calloused and has been well used over the years,  my heel to this day is soft, it has never really touched the ground.   I wore stilettos from the time I was in high school, until my total left knee replacement in August 2007.  Suprisingly enough,  they were the best shoes since it lifted my right foot to what would be a  natural postion for it.  I use a pumice stone on my feet, soak them, dry them off , to try to keep my feet looking decent, I massage coconut butter on them. My left foot, does well, that poor right foot never looks like it has seen a pumice stone or lotion.  
   Last year my right leg below the knee was going to be amputated.  My only child suddenly passed away and left this world to be with our Lord.  Mentally,  there was no way I could go through any type of surgery.  He had planned on staying with me for a week or so after my surgery.  Now he is gone.
    After I have the DOPPLER ,  Tuesday the 18th of October,  I will have an appointment to go back in to speak my surgeon and we will begin to make arrangements.  I do not want to have the surgery,
during the holidays.  In January 2012 after the twelth I would like to have it.  My foot is not life threatening, it is very debilitating.  The older I get, the harder it is to walk.  My toes are curling under and thank goodness I have a wondeful Podiatrist.  He fixed a toe guard to keep my curled toes from being walked on.  I am so thankful for my Dr.'s.  It is a shame not everyone is able to have Dr's as good as mine.  
      When I was eleven years old,  the surgeon told my parents, that they could stop the growth in my left leg so my right leg could catch up.  The surgeon went in,  cut my ligaments, cartlidges,  placed three large metal staples on each side of my knee on my growth bone.  It did prevent my left leg from growing, what they didnt anticipate is, instead of being five foot five,  It turned out I am only five foot two.  Not what they had in mind.  Here I am at 11 years old learning to walk again for the third time. 
   I always joked with everyone that since I have learned to walk three times you would think I would really be good at it.   :D.   When I had my surgery August of 2007,  Once again I find myself learning to walk for the fourth time.  With this amputation, I will start a new journey for the fifth time in my life.  Not bad for being 54, How many my age can say that at 55 they have learned to walk for the fifth time.  :D   Life is beautiful.  God has provided so much beauty around us, A person cannot help enjoying life.  
   Today is the first day of the rest of my LIFE.  This is a really good motto,  my favorite is :
LIFE IS TO SHORT TO BE GRUMPY.................
I follow this motto every day when I wake up.  Going through the grief with my son. It has not been as easy it use to be.  Through God, family and friends,  I have been able to at least make it through this ordeal.  Something I never ever thought I would have to go through.  
      Tomorrow is my doppler, time to reflect, think, pray.  

Have a blessed day and always be safe